Confession time: I used to roll my eyes every time I saw someone making a big deal about breastfeeding in public. There have been all these campaigns about making it “okay” to breastfeed in public — and I thought to myself…well, yeah, it IS okay. Are people really telling Moms they can’t do it? (I mean, are they? Tell me!)
The truth is, I have no idea how much of a problem it is. Is it something women are asked to stop doing in a lot of places? I have seen women breastfeeding all over the place and it’s never bothered me — nor have I ever witnessed anyone being asked to cover up.
That being said, I DO believe in attempting to cover up at least a little bit. Am I wrong in thinking a little discretion is good if you can help it? I’ve seen that viral video — and I GET it — but I have seen some ladies who seem like they could try…a little. But maybe I’m living in a fantasy world of pre-breastfeeding…
I’m by no means hardcore on my positions — and realize I haven’t actually been a breastfeeding Mom yet — so please don’t clobber me with anger if you think I’m off base!
However…here is where I’m really starting to get it. I just recently realized how uncomfortable I might feel — just myself — breastfeeding around others. Like when I’m hanging out with people, even at home, I feel like I will worry about making others uncomfortable. Of course I’ve never cared when anyone breastfed around me, but there’s always been an initial moment of discomfort for whatever reason.
Then, I remembered reading something Bex wrote (pretty sure it was her!) about being asked not to breastfeed on a plane — and having to do it in the little tiny airplane bathroom — and thinking…oh my gosh, how do you travel if you have to worry about something like that? I realized…I WILL be stressing about making people uncomfortable on planes, in restaurants, even at family gatherings.
So, I guess that answers the question — YES, I will be breastfeeding. And the breastfeeding “movement” (the one for more acceptance in public, not the one about how you MUST breastfeed or your making a horrible decision!), has finally started to make sense to me. It’s a BIG deal because you have to feed your baby a lot and deal with leaky boobs and errands and life stuff and annoying people who don’t get how difficult it can all be.
I know I probably sound like a naive, first time mom who has no idea what she’s talking about it but…it all just clicked to me this week. And I’m sure it’s all going to be fine and I’ll just get used to it — but it’s one of those THINGS that we first-timers are anxiously awaiting.
And with that, I’ll take any and all comments, suggestions or words of comfort — ha ha 🙂
Sometimes you just need to feed your baby and they are fussy as shit and don’t want to be covered and you are desperate and emotional that is when you stop caring about what other people think 🙂 In the beginning, I tried to feed her right before I needed to do things but I could not live under that type of rigid schedule anymore!!!
After a couple of months, things hopefully get better. The leaky boobs stop leaking and they no longer become engorged and breastfeeding becomes comfortable! The best part is that you still don’t care about what people think and you become a pro at slipping out the nips without flashing your entire chest for the baby to eat!
Random thoughts and suggestions: My FAVORITE breastfeeding book is called “Breastfeeding Made Simple” – much better than LLL and I have used it as a resource book for both my babies. DO NOT GOOGLE BREASTFEEDING PROBLEMS. Have a few experienced girlfriends you can call or make friends with a lactation consultant or Le Leche League leader BEFORE you give birth so you have someone you can text in the middle of the night when you think you’re losing your mind (and your nipples). I only breastfed my first for five months but am going strong with my second for 8 months and counting. Around 6 months Gabe started throwing the nursing cover off. It is now IMPOSSIBLE to keep a cover or blanket over him so I just make sure to wear modest nursing clothing so the top part of my boob is covered and doesn’t look as scandalous – the baby covers up the nipple after all! I subscribe to something called “Mama’s Milk Box” which has cool nursing friendly tops and dresses shipped to you every 6 weeks 🙂
Thanks Whitney! I will check out that back — I’m a book fiend 🙂 Ha hah, okay I will NOT google that. Haven’t yet thank goodness! THanks for that helpful advice…I will check out that service too. May go pick up my first nursing bra today just to get a head start. OH man, I’m sure I WILL get this sooner or later! 🙂
Hey Ericka, I’m also new to breastfeeding and wasn’t sure I was going to follow through with it until I was about 6 months pregnant. After reading a couple of books I knew I wanted to exclusively breastfeed our son. Since I’m still new to this, I feel clumsy sometimes- Alex will wiggle around a lot or feel suffocated under the cover, but he is so desperate for some food that he will do anything! If I’m at the mall or Target there are usually nursing areas for moms to sneak away for 10 mins. Many times I will feed Alex in the car because it is easy and he likes it. I concur that over time you don’t care as much what other people think when your son is hungry, but I was actually surprised by how supportive random strangers were about breastfeeding, etc. Make sure to pick up a nursing scarf like Bebe au lait for your diaper bag. The Aden and Anais swaddles work really well too because they are just the right size. Happy to share anything else I’ve learned that last 4 months!
Thank you Katie! That is good to know. I was thinking probably just a little time will help me feel much less uncomfortable. And also mastering the art of doing it well and discreetly! I’ve already been gifted some of those Aden and Anais swaddles so ahead of the game! Thank you so much for your advice 🙂
Reallly, that’s so interesting. I guess I didn’t think lactation consultants were all that popular but I think I’m wrong (from all Im hearing lately!). I DO want someone I can email in the middle of the night! I’ve heard some friends who have mentioned the same thing (like being asked to move to another room, etc.)…good to know about Nordstrom, maybe I will hang out at the mall a lot…oh man, I have a lot to learn. I appreciate your advice!
breastfeeding is natural but it’s not easy. I think going into it knowing it takes some learning and hard work is helpful. It’s really easy to cover up when baby is brand new and until about 5 or 6 months. Then when baby starts moving around and wanting to see the world he will get a little harder to cover and be modest. I was FINE nursing everywhere until Norah was about 9.5 months and now I feel like I have to hide because she makes it impossible to be modest. However, at this point baby is eating other foods and can have a sippy cup of water or pre-pumped breastmilk. The BEST advice I ever read was in a devotional for moms And it said God chose YOU to mother this child- YOU are the momma- and YOU get to make the decisions about what is best for your family. So whatever you feel comfortable with is the best thing for your entire family 🙂 you will do great!
OH that’s such great advice, Beth — thank you 🙂 Everyone’s experience seems a little different but hearing them all is helpful to me. Thank for sharing!
Congratulations! My little thoughts on breastfeeding are… 1. It is wonderful and great but yes it is a sacrifice that comes with being a momma! I am so glad I did it. But wow it was hard work!
2. Persevere to 6 weeks…if it’s tough or hard in the beginning don’t make any official decisions in those first few weeks. I made it to 14 mon and 9 mon (self weaned) with mine. One it took me 4 months to get over some hurdles and I was glad I stuck it through but it was a journey I had to fight to stick with. Of course your experience can be totally different! Each of my kids were!
3. Lactation consultants are great! I loved the advice “try a new one if you don’t connect with the first one” Your pediatricians office may have one that Is free to consult.
4. A good pump is a must!
5. Give yourself grace!
6. Nipple cream is great to have on hand and maybe start preping now by using it 🙂 it can leave a funny stain on your nursing tank tops! I liked having a basket for the house with all the breast feeding things in it (burp rags, cream, book, breast pads, ext) then if I fed in different places I had everything in one spot.
7. Be ready for some funny situations that come with being a milk maker!!
8. Once you get to know your little guy, a routine helps with knowing when it was time to eat vs time to sleep. It doesn’t have to be rigid. But I liked the eat,play,sleep routine. It kept me from guessing what he/she needed. And when in doubt I fed some more:)
You will do awesome! Reach out for support if you need it, from a friend or mom that has done it but will help you figure out what works for you!
Hi Ericka! I just stumbled across your blog, congrats on your upcoming bundle! I am a La Leche League leader and have been for almost 10 years now. My biggest piece of advice goes right along with Beth’s, don’t expect it to be natural and easy. With my first daughter I had no idea what I was doing, but thankfully after a couple weeks of sore nipples, we got it and she successfully nursed for 9 months. My second daughter was a nightmare, thankfully I found a LLL group in my area and attended meetings. It was SO nice to hear that I wasn’t alone and got lots of advice from other moms. She nursed for 14 months. I decided to begin training to be a leader when I was pregnant with my 3rd daughter, who nursed until she was 2. If you can find a LLL group, start attending meetings now, it’s so helpful to get lots of info even before baby comes. 🙂 If you ever need advice or questions answered, feel free to email me;
bczimmer5@gmail.com