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I probably know less about being pregnant than an 8-year-old. That may be an exaggeration but there have been a lot of unexpecteds.

For example, I didn’t know that pregnancy weeks were counted from the date of your last period — so that you actually get two “bonus” weeks to count once you actually know you are pregnant. How embarrassing! But,  it was sure nice to go from 2 weeks to 4 weeks in a millisecond back there in the beginning of all this.

Things I didn’t expect: 

  • Morning sickness 24 hours a day for a month.
  • Massive struggle to get up early
  • That it would take so long to show at all
  • No weight gain for months
  • How long the first trimester would feel
  • That I would see my baby’s heartbeat at less than 6 weeks in
  • Horrible indigestion
  • Dizziness and shortness of breath so easily so early on
  • That the doctor offers only one ultrasound at 20 weeks
  • That I wouldn’t get to take hot baths (my fav!)
  • That I would get to eat most seafood that I like (thought it was all off limits!)
  • Depression from progesterone
  • How awful coffee would taste
  • That I could see baby’s arms and legs flailing around at only 12 weeks!

So those are just a few things. Clearly, I’ve never read up pregnancy and still have tons of stuff to experience in the next five months. I’m actually starting to read some books about having a newborn — figured I shouldn’t go totally blindsided into that one! Thanks to my friend Melinda, who is a doula, for giving me some great recommendations so far. (By the way, she says “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” is NOT the one to read — so I’ve ordered some others per her suggestion!)

So far all I know is that labor totally freaks me out, breastfeeding sounds kind of awful and I’m worried about having post-partum depression, among other things!

Boy do I sound like a positive Polly? I AM so grateful and excited but…I think you read so much about how hard it is to have a baby that people forget to talk enough about the great parts. Also, I recognize how many people out there would give anything to be pregnant — and they aren’t. This isn’t complaining — just a lot of thoughts wandering through my mind!

Somebody Should Have Warned Me

I’m so thankful that last year I found this article, “Somebody Should Have Warned Me,” which I was glad I could easily Google just now. I remember reading it and thinking YES, I will need this. I have remembered it ever since — and I’m relishing it now. I love it all but the last paragraph is worth copying (the whole thing is great though):

They should’ve warned me that becoming a mommy would absolutely change every single thing, but that I would never want to go back and visit the “old” me, not even for a second. They should’ve warned me that my life was about to become so rich and beautiful and fulfilling, that I’d look back on what it was before and think, “Poor me. I didn’t know her yet.”

It’s scary being a first time pregnant person. Everything is new and my body feels a tad bit not my own. What is it doing? Just yesterday, I finally felt like there was a legitimate bump. It’s cool but feels and looks a little strange to me.

Only In Dreams

All my life — since I was a teenager — I’ve had dreams that I was pregnant. It always seemed so magical, even a little glamorous. In my dreams, I was always very pregnant and just amazed at my belly holding a person inside.

Now, my dreams have literally come true. There is a little person inside my belly. And they are growing bigger everyday. They have already developed everything they need to be who they are. In fact, that part of them was determined at the very beginning of it all.

Pretty soon, I will have the belly in my dreams. Pretty soon, I will feel someone kicking me from the inside. Pretty soon, I’ll know that feeling that you always hear about — that you love someone more than you ever knew you could. And yes, I’m pretty scared about everything, but really, I can’t wait.

*I know I put this in the last post but ohmygosh, there they are!

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