On Monday, I attempted to fun home from work. It’s about 8-9 miles (I think) so it shouldn’t really be a problem. So — whether it’s all in my head or my body just doesn’t like to run in the afternoon — I’m not sure.
The first time I tried this, I had weird cramps the whole way and pretty much hated. I figured the second time wouldn’t be like that. All day, I was fine. Around 5pm as time rolled around to go, cramps appeared out of nowhere.
What? I figured I would just start running and they would subside. I was oh so so wrong. After about 4 miles, I stopped and doubled over in pain. All of the sudden I got chills and could barely shuffle. Great. I was about 2 miles from the nearest metro that could get me close to home. So I began the long walk to the metro. It was pure misery.
|This was how I felt for 2 solid hours.
The only thing out of whack for me that day had been eating a huge spoonful of chia seeds in my yogurt. I bought a big old bag of them this weekend and decided to start tossing them in my food since I’ve read time and again how amazing they are for you. With not taste and hardly a texture, why not?
When I arrived home, I googled “side effects of chia seeds.” It said they can cause gas and bloating issues (sorry, tmi?) because they are so high in fiber. I guess that’s what happened but…I had eaten them around 10am and this was 7 hours later so it seems weird. Anyway, that run was a big fat #fail.
|The culprit? Maybe.
It got me to thinking about “have to” running. That’s kind of why I was running home in the first place…to really kick start my marathon training. After hurting my back last week, I had to forgo my first long marathon training run. I intended to begin this weekend but the thought of making myself get up at 5am on Saturdays for most of the summers kind of bums me out.
I’ve got the Chicago Marathon on October 7th and a small part of me wants to “just say no.” I haven’t bought my plane ticket yet but I’m thinking…do I really want to spend $400 (at least) on top of the $150 I already spent on the race? Am I really going to train enough? Plus, I will only be there for ONE night because I can’t take any days off work. All of the sudden, I have lost motivation.
Is it because I really enjoy getting up on Saturdays and spending them drinking coffee and talking with Rick? That’s one of my favorite things to do and I miss out on that when I go run. Is it because I know I can’t give Crossfit my all if I go running? Maybe.
|Not sure I can make myself do this on Saturdays for the rest of the summer!
I keep thinking — I could run this marathon without making a big deal of training. I could “just do it.” But I know how disappointed I will be with my time if I do that. I know my body will hate me for not training. I don’t think it will be worth the time and money if I don’t. I have no good reason not to do it and perhaps this feeling will go away but…whatever it is, it’s here.
I’m not burnt out on fitness or even running, maybe just the effort of all those 20-milers or something. I’ll just go with the flow and not force myself into anything. Of course, marathon training does require concerted effort and I’m just torn.
Having discovered Crossfit & devoting some of my mornings each week to Back on My Feet puts me in a different position than I have been during other marathon training. I just have more going on and it makes it harder to do. Part of me is also scared that even if I do train and do it all right that I won’t meet my sub-4 goal and it will kind of like a waste. I know that’s the wrong attitude but I’m just conflicted. Really training is a huge commitment. Do you feel me?
*Anyone ever been this position before? What should I do? Would love to hear thoughts from marathon runners out there!