I really do HATE that the first row of bodies is the more envied body than the second. 

There was a time in my life when I thought all I wanted was row 1. I had dreams of an ultra flat stomach with hips that slithered into virtually anything beautifully. I’d look over pages of magazines and promise that tomorrow would be my first day on the path to real thin. It was pathetic. And…I never got there.

I got somewhere better: here. My body is similar in size to the women in row 2 and I am happy with it.Sounds silly but the path to acceptance began when I was about 15 pounds+ heavier and watched “Real Women Have Curves” — America Ferrera’s big break.

It seems kind of cheesy now but I had a “moment” when I watched this and that’s when the transformation began. And can I tell you something? I honestly JUST recognized the moment as I was writing this post. WOW!

I never obsess over being thinner or wish I could lose 20 pounds for a party I’m going to. It feels good to be content in this way and it’s important that I recognize that because it is answered prayer and a result of hard work to change.

And it proves it’s possible to be free from the vicious cycle that was my life. If you are struggling, I promise you can be free too.

This photo represents my body in an honest light, as an example for where I’m coming from.

*I admit that I do grow fearful of gaining weight. I still have a lot of anxiety about overeating, getting enough exercise and being attractive, but it’s a LONG way from where I used to be.

It makes me want to enter the minds of all those girls dying to be Keira Knightly thin — and tell them it’s not worth it. The mental anguish, the restrictive calories, the guilt, the fear, the obsession. It seems a harsh mental prison when you are there behind the manipulative lies of thin.

Turns out…this is NOT the key to happiness. I’d rather enjoy my food — not obsess over it.

I don’t know if many celebrities are just naturally thin or not. I don’t know how hard these women work or what they eat to maintain this physique. I wonder how food/exercise would compare with the starlets of the 50s? How have men’s preferences changed — or not — from back then?

I’m never going to hate on someone’s body because they are bone thin. Some people are born that way and it doesn’t make their bodies less worthy. It’s the deprived ones I worry about. And I fear there are many.When I read interviews with celebrities about how they “cheat” once in awhile by having pizza, I’m like…you call that cheating? Cheating is like ordering fried chicken, biscuits and mashed potatoes with gravy — and an apple cobbler. Pizza is just dinner.

I love that Christina Aguilera and Jessica Simpson both have seemed to embrace their natural bodies and make no excuses. I used to read about Jessica’s struggles with it but in the past couple of years, photos have revealed she’s letting herself be. I love Rihanna, Beyonce and Kim Kardashian’s curvy legs and butts. I love the embrace of our bodies as they are meant to be — their happy weights, their happy shapes.

I know my happy weight is 145-150. Sometimes, I get it down but I can’t maintain. Sometimes I go over, but that’s always when I know I’m overdoing it in an unhealthy way.

Find your happy weight. Eat what tastes good to you. Drink a lot of water. Move! Incorporate healthy foods.Most of all, listen to your body. It can take awhile to hear it but if you take the time to listen, you’ll know.

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