After a rough morning with my daughter — and yelling at my kids — I was compelled to write. Because we don’t see those tough moments on social media. We don’t see the outburst of frustration, the screaming of things you’d never have dreamed of years ago. We don’t see the precious spirits of other people’s babies, forgiving mommas who really don’t deserve it.
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But I’m the lucky Mom who has those babies. I’m the imperfect Mom who has the outbursts. And the reality of God’s love and frustration with me has never been more apparent than through this relationship with my kids. There’s not faking it through a tantrum — at least not every time.
I’m thankful for my forgiving babies. I’m thankful for my forgiving Father.
This is for you, precious Momma friend:
For the Mom That Yelled Today
I broke down in tears this morning, laying my head on my 3-year-old’s lap
Asking her to forgive me
Do you ‘give me, momma? Her reply.
Baby, you don’t need to apologize, I said.
Momma, I sorry for making you mad.
Precious girl.
Don’t apologize — for being you, for being 3
Your momma…
She yells and she’s sorry.
She’s mean and she feels shame.
She’s striving and she’s failing everyday.
Being
a good mom
a good wife
a good friend
a good daughter
a good sister
The space is finite, but where’s the rest? So I yell, willing it to be.
It never appears. The hard moments subside.
And I promise not to yell, or need so much space.
But then I do. And I yell, but softer this time.
Looking at you, not past you, more quickly this time.
Mama, you ‘give me? You say.
Forever and always, my girl.
Can you forgive me too?
Yelling at My Kids Doesn’t Make Me a Bad Mom
It makes you human. It makes you fallen. It makes you compassionate and more ready to love and forgive in the end. So forgive yourself and ask God to forgive you and your kids to forgive you and start anew. We’ll be starting a anew until the end of this life. Just keep doing it.
“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Lamentations 3:22-23