Heading back to CrossFit this year, my expectations were low. A full year away, a pregnancy on top it. I fully anticipated that the bar would all my lifting would entail.

Then things came back, slowly and steadily. But still, I can’t lift heavy. Never could. Even in my CrossFit prime, when I had been doing it for well over a year, 3-4 days a week and working hard, I couldn’t.

Even now, I can’t do a strict pull up. When we do back squats, I have to partner with the senior citizens in class. The girls my age are piling it on in groups and I’m over here, a little embarrassed by my 75 pounds. Oh but let me brag — I once squatted 100 pounds. About died, but it happened (I’m sure my form was terrible.)

Here’s the thing: I don’t get it. I work hard, I am consistent and I just can’t go much heavier than I do. That’s squats, bench press, cleans, jerks, you name it. So why don’t I just say, you know what? CrossFit isn’t for me.

Well, because it is for me. It’s totally for me. Some of you have been reading since I threw up that first post back in…2012?…wondering if I should spend the money to try this new fad. If I only knew than what I goner I would be. If only I knew that I would get two glorious trips to the CrossFit Games courtesy of Reebok and get a tad more obsessed than I knew was possible 🙂

It’s for me even though I might never do a strict pull up. God knows I try, but even if it never happens, I will go to CrossFit as long as my body allows me. It’s kind of a movement (not cult, you crazy kids) that encompasses so much more than burning calories and building muscles. That’s why CrossFit has drawn in the very old, the very young, the disabled, the less fortunate and the most honorable of all, veterans and active duty military.

We workout for something bigger than ourselves. Yes, you can do that with any sport or workout but there’s something about THIS activity that is connected. Walk into any box in the country — heck, the world — and it’s like hey, welcome home. I know it’s just fitness. I know it’s just a barbell and a box jump. I know I’ll never bench press 150 pounds (shooting for 95 right now ;), but I get excited everyday to workout, to better myself in ways that extend beyond 50 unbroken double unders.

I leave class feeling like I did something — and then I go accomplish a whole lot more because that’s where I started for the day. That’s really how it works for me.

So don’t let the weights intimidate you. Or the box, the bar or the loud music. Just come on in and give it a try. You don’t have to lift heavy to do CrossFit.

Oh — if you’re in Indy — here’s where I go 🙂