Previously, I wrote “Dear Jacob Part I” but I knew this was the Part II I wanted to write. I’ve mentioned numerous times how blessed we are to have so many people in Jacob’s life who have loved him from before Day #1 — when he was but a dream in our hearts. Now, he’s almost a dream in our hands!
The closer we get to delivery day, the more anxious I become that something could go wrong. We are so close and I’m a worry wart! I think…why hasn’t he moved in a few hours or I felt movement but it was only a little. People keep saying “Well, he doesn’t have much room in there!” which is true. I’m sure he is perfectly fine but I can’t stop my brain from wandering. Yesterday, I was 37 weeks — what could be considered full-term. I feel like I will not be going anytime before 40 weeks but perhaps I am wrong.
Back to the letter.
UPDATE: In writing this letter, it turned into less of a letter and more of a word vomit from my heart and brain so for whatever it’s worth, I wanted to say this to and about the people that mean the most to me. And so…it is what it is! 🙂
Dear Jacob,
There are a few people I want to tell you about. We all have so many people that contribute to our character and personalities and the people we eventually become. Thankfully, there are SO many people in your life that you will learn from. I cannot name them all — that would be impossible — but I wanted to tell you about a few of them.
Grandma Lori: You will learn from her to do your own thing, not let others get you down or make you feel bad about yourself. She will teach you a lot about not making excuses or letting your emotions dictate your actions negatively. These are important lessons that will help you become a person who works hard and gets things done.
Grandpa Greg: He will teach you that anything is possible — that you can dream something and then make it happen. There are no limits to your potential and he will stand behind you with all the encouragement you need. From him, you will learn the importance of setting your sights high and then taking the action to achieve your goals.
Aunt Lindsey: Lindsey will show you that it is important to help people and have compassion for those who struggle, from lonely senior citizens to the neighbor down the street who might seem a little sad. She’ll show you how to brighten someone’s day in a a moment with just a smile and a hello, proving how just acknowledging someone else’s existence matters very much.
Aunt Shelby: She will teach how you find the humor in struggles and that it’s important to be self-deprecating, realizing that you are not perfect and that’s okay. Don’t take things too seriously and make your own decisions — what YOU think is right for you, not what everyone else tells you is right for you.
Aunt Sandie: She will show you how important family is — and help you see the importance of quality time together with the people you love most. You will learn from her to consult God when you struggle and trust that He will help you through it. She’ll also teach how to overcome and find happiness in the blessings you have in your life.
And there are so many others — like your cousins Tyler, Emily, Caitlyn and Nick — who are totally going to love you like crazy. And I hope you capture some of their beautiful hearts, humor and compassion for others. And your littler cousins — Giovanna, Marshall, Gunner, Louis and Chloe — who are definitely going to be some of your best friends!
Then there are all the wonderful Aunts in MY life — how lucky I was grow up with 5 amazing Aunts, all who have loved me since day #1 — just like they love you. Barbie, Julie, Cheryl, Angie and Andrea — you all deserver your own separate blog post — but for now, I will just say…you have each loved and inspired me deeply in your own ways. Now that I’m an Aunt, I realize how SPECIAL that role is and how much you truly love your nieces and nephews. Looking back over the years, I didn’t realize it then, but I realize it now and have to say THANK YOU for being a part of my life and a part of Jacob’s truly from the before this journey even began.
There was quite a group of women on my group text messages the day I went in for IVF and for all the follow up. And it’s because of how important and sacred they all are to me.
And that group would have included two wonderful Grandmothers! One does not have text messaging but Grandma Sharon has been the brightest light and hope for your life from the very start. When she tells me seeing my baby bump makes her more happy than anything in the world, I know she’s 100% serious. It means EVERYTHING.
Then, there’s my surrogate Grandma, Margaret — she has been there a staple in my life since I was just a little girl. It’s like not only was I blessed with an amazing family and extended family but I got a BONUS amazing family member to boot. And she has always been a strong, rational, kind, loving voice I love and respect so much over the years!
Of course missing from this amazing group of people is my Grandma Carole, who passed away last year. But boy, she is HERE. We talked frequently about my desire to have you, Jacob, and about the money I was saving up for IVF. She was excited then and she would be SO excited to meet you now — maybe more excited than anyone else. And of all these amazing people, it is her legacy that has drenched us all in the desire to be better, to have more compassion, love and grace in our lives. It is her legacy and HER prayers that I know she prayed before you were even made that will bless your life.
Topping off this list are some of the awesome guys in our family, who aren’t quite as sentimental — and may never read this blog post — but whom I know love you too. People like my two wonderful Grandpas (I had three, though one has passed and duh — would love you too!) All of the many Uncles in our lives — Glenn, Cef, Greg, Stanley, Keith, Henry, Mario and Chad. How you end up in a family where you genuinely LIKE and love everyone, I don’t know — but Jacob, we are LUCKY.
Oh and you’ve got even more grandparents that are on this list as well — the love is neverending, WOW!
I’ll tell you what, this is NOT an exhaustive list. I’m missing even more cousins and friends, etc. We have friends and more family and people yet to enter our lives. The love is going to continue on and on but I would remiss if I didn’t acknowledge it here. I truly THANK GOD for you and for this beautiful life we have.
Can’t wait to meet face to face sometime in the next 3 weeks!
Love,
Mom