I never thought a lot about adoption until two years ago. I was headed to the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) to work 60 orphans in Uvira. Thankfully, the leaders of my trip thought it was important we learn about what that means. I read books like “Orphanology” and “Another Place at the Table” that immersed me in the realities of foster, adoption, orphancare and more in the United States and in African countries, among others.
I also began to realize the responsibility I, as someone who does not believe in abortion, have to promote adoption from the other side. For those who decide to choose life and deliver the babies they can’t take care of, they need to know that through adoption, their babies will find a good home. I think pro-lifers have a very deep responsibility to this side of things, often that I don’t see come out enough.
There are also those parents that try and can’t, adding children to the foster care system — many of which go back and forth between homes, their families and more homes — or end up indefinitely in the system. Many of them are looking for forever families. The older children are the most devastating of all sometimes.
Yesterday, I went to an adoption agency to talk about what adoption might look like for us. We want to adopt a child — whether it be our first, second or heck, you never know, third. I don’t know hwo things are going to play out. My heart beat loudly at the thought of anguished mothers saying goodbye to their babies in order to give them a better life. It’s one of the most selfless, most sacrificial acts I can imagine in this world.
Appropriately, tonight is a fundraising dinner for the DC Family and Youth Initiative, which connects teens in foster care to mentors and eventually adoptions. It’s pretty cool. I’ve been involved in the past, though I am not currently involved. I want to make sure people know places like this exist and that you, who may not think you can make much of a difference in the world, can make a difference in the life of a foster child through mentoring.
Not everyone is in the place to consider adoption or foster care, but there are so many ways to chip in — even just promoting things via social media and talking about the topic more often. Foster care and adoption is misunderstood but it should be more common place — especially in churches, who are called to care for the orphans, the sick, the needy.
What’s the point of the this post? Maybe to make someone think. Maybe to get it out there in the air, on the Google machine, in the Twittersphere. Chances are, if you are reading this, you can help a kid in foster care, somehow, someway. Maybe now you’ll think about adopting. Maybe now you’ll realize being pro-life means being pro-life on the other side of the womb too. Maybe you’ll remember this a few months down the road when you come across a local program. Don’t walk away.
I found out yesterday that adoption (of a domestic infant) costs more than I thought. It can cost up to $35,000 — international adoptions are a ton more, and much harder. So we’ve saved our pennies to try to get pregnant — and we’re going to do that, because that’s something special too. But we’ll start another fund for our adoption. And one way or another, we’ll complete this little dream. It’s not a plan I can foresee, not timing that I know. And I wish it wasn’t so hard (for either of these things) but it is and that’s just the way of it. Rick will tell you I’m not as patient as that sounds 🙂
Anyway, to life, adoption, mentors, pregnancy, mommies, daddies & the people that dedicate their life’s work to helping children in these life-altering situations they never asked for.
I think we’ve talked about this before, and I think I remember you talking about adoption even before you tried to get pregnant. As someone who’s adopted, I think it’s a wonderful thing and am very thankful to both my birth mother and adoptive parents for the decisions they made. Personally, I want to have my own child to have that biological bond I never had, but as I get older, I wouldn’t rule out adoption the way I would when I was younger.
Thanks…yes, I’ve been thinking about it forever. It seems like we both want to pursue having a biological child first and then do adoption second. If it doesn’t work out that way, that’s okay but I guess for age factors and the uncertainty of IVF, we just want to get it out of the way. We just started an “adoption fund” now that we’ve saved the money for IVF, we know have to start saving for when we hopefully adopt a few years down the road. If only it all weren’t so expensive. I know it will be worth it though! I love that you have a great adoption story.