Current weight: He is getting weighed again tomorrow but I’m guessing he’s around 11 pounds now — and he seems HUGE! We are all out of our newborn clothes, which unexpectedly made me really sad 🙁 He’s pretty long so even most 0-3 months aren’t fitting him anymore. I can see now that every step of growth is going to be a little sad for this Mom!
Sleeping: Everything is really different from a month ago! It’s been kind of all over the place but in the past week, we’ve gotten into somewhat of a routine. Previously, we weren’t doing anything right really. I was turning on the light and talking to him in the middle of the night — that’s a no no! We have since learned we should keep lights off, not make eye contact and try to emphasize that darkness & quiet means it’s time to sleep! It has really helped. He will not go to sleep on his own — always has to be rocked — but we are usually able to put him down after that though it’s hard getting him to go down at the right time. He currently sleeps in the Graco bassinet in my room, a transition from the Rock n’ Play we were using. The general schedule is that he sleeps from 8:30pm-12:30 or 1, wakes up to eat, then sleeps again till 4:30 or 5 and sleeps again until 8 or so. But that’s truly only been for about a week so we’ll see. Naps are sporadic and sometimes don’t happen at all — we’re learning!
Eating: Jacob eats very well now! Without going into too much detail, I have quit breastfeeding and pumping all together. I was getting no sleep with pumping in the middle of the night and it was making me miserable. Since he got nearly nothing actually breastfeeding, I was exclusively pumping (and not making quite enough.) I don’t feel 100% comfortable with my decision and the transition to formula was rocky. He had some really bad gas and stomach issues and was clearly very uncomfortable, which made for a few rough days. Things are better and we have switched Similac Sensitive formula, used gas drops and began feeding him in a more upright position. He is much happier now! Next time I have a baby, I will be more prepared for the struggles of breastfeeding and maybe handle them better. This time, it was just kind of a disaster for me mentally and physically. I’m just thankful he is eating plenty, gaining weight and remaining very healthy all together.
Likes: Being rocked in the rocking chair (forever!), swinging in his swing with music, watching mobiles, being sang to, being carried around, pacifier
Dislikes: Getting his diaper changed, being tired, being left out if Daddy and I are up and about while he’s in his Pack n’ Play (he wants to be picked up!)
Concerns: Thankfully, last month’s breathing issues is all gone! He sleeps nearly soundlessly when he’s really asleep but often makes grunting noises and rustles around a lot too. He has a weird thing going on with his left eye that the pediatrician says is likely to do with a tear duct..so he gets a lot of eye goop but it’s not dangerous.
We also got a little worried about “flat head syndrome” because we hadn’t thought of it at all until a month in. We bought a baby head pillow, do regular tummy time and try to keep him at different angles and places a lot so he doesn’t get a flat head. We think his head looks kind of flat but…I’m not sure if that’s true or not…
We won’t try any sleep training for real until at least 3 months but hopefully creating patterns now will make it easier. I am too smart to hope he’ll be one of those young babies that sleeps through the night but…that’s the dream 🙂
Crying: Well, he definitely cries now. But, it’s not that bad…usually we can soothe him with food, pacifier, or just holding him. There are times when we have no idea what is wrong but can usually get him to calm down with some kind of rocking. I think he gets overly tired a lot from not taking naps.
How Am I Doing?
I’m doing pretty well. Though I have struggled with some post-partum anxiety, I think it’s mellowed out a lot. Now that he is not so tiny and fragile, I feel better. I still worry about him in the back seat of the car or jump up to make sure he is still breathing if I haven’t heard him much in the night. But it’s not nearly as scary as it was before.
Sometimes I just stare at him in awe and can’t believe he grew in my stomach. I can’t believe he’s all mine — and I think he’s just SO adorable. When I see Rick taking care of him, it melts my heart. He loves him so much and is such an amazing Dad…
I’m back to work and it’s a struggle taking care of Jacob and working full-time. I am hoping he keeps up this sleeping from 5-8am thing because I cram in a crap load of work in that time. I’ve been going to my Mom’s house once a week and she watches him, then I also sometimes go to my sister’s house for help from her. Rick gets home at 3:30 so I’m able to get a lot done after that too. It’s a balance! But, I already understand Mom guilt because I feel bad not spending every moment with him.
Being able to workout has been helpful with anxiety, being happy, staying creative and happy.
It’s obviously harder to do things than it was in the past but I really don’t care. I love being Jacob’s mom and can’t imagine my life without him. He is starting to smile a little and my favorite moments of all time are when he snuggled up against my chest just content. I truly feel a literal chemical connection that gives me so much joy in those moments. It’s like heaven on earth in a way that I can’t explain. I finally understand what people mean when they say their kids are like their hearts being outside of their bodies. He IS my heart.
I love this pic of him smiling while his cousin Giovanna was entertaining him: