*My nephew, Marshall, as a newborn.
I’m not going to lie, you guys are scaring me.
When you are trying and hoping to get pregnant, all you can think about it reaching that goal. The whole birth, newborn, being a mom thing is secondary.
Then, you get pregnant and you are trying to learn stuff, plan a baby shower, adapt to bodily changes and also just enjoy having attained this coveted status of womanhood: pregnancy.
But then you start reading stuff about what it’s like to be a new mom — and everyone starts freaking you out. There’s lots of conversation about post-partum depression. At this point, I’m just assuming I’ll have it. I’m prone to depression and don’t deal well without routine, sleep or being house bound. Can you tell — I’m a real optimist! Yes, I realize “assuming I’m going to have it” is a terrible approach but I guess I’d rather be mentally prepared…
It’s all about to come crashing down on me.
Yesterday, I read this piece — and it just really bothered me. I’m not trying to escape reality but I keep seeing posts like this. People saying they expected it to be really hard, but not THIS hard, not this bad. So just watch out lady because you’ve got it coming and you can’t imagine how difficult it’s going to be.
There is no point in being “afraid” of what is to come after the baby is born (everybody does it!) — but the scare tactics are sure out there. I really did enjoy this piece from Colleen (“No One Talks About the Darkness”) because it was honest — and ended with hope — but you all have me wigged out about this whole post-partum situation.
Part of me doesn’t even want to share this because…will people just say — yep, it’s going to be just as they all say and there’s nothing you can do about it. And let me pause here to say, I’m NOT complaining, I KNOW how lucky I am, I am just sorting it all through right now. I’m very…sensitive to how this can come across to anyone who might be trying to get pregnant with difficulty.
I need more people to say things like this. I read this piece (and have shared it once before) about a year ago and I have gone back to it several times. She’s the only person I’ve seen really nail it on this.
I mean…this is the most blessed event I will ever experience. I cannot wait to meet this guy — I can hardly believe he’s real and really mine. But he is the most intimidating person I’ve ever planned to meet! And motherland on the Internet isn’t easing my anxiety a single bit.
Something else “everyone” says? Don’t be afraid to have friends and family come help you out — make you food, do your laundry, give you a break. Well, guess what? We don’t live near family and our friends have their own kids & they don’t live down the road. It’s just gonna be us — and so don’t make me think that’s not do-able.
Here’s the thing, I know why we blog and write. We need to get these things off our chest, be brutally honest about our lives, our babies, our experiences. But first time moms are easily scared. So maybe that’s my cue to get off the Internets on this! I mean, I will likely appreciate these post-partum posts when I’ve been there, done that. For now, it’s just kind taking away some of my joyful anticipation.
Like everything else I’ve done that’s scary, I know this will be okay. But I swear when I write my post-partum reflections I’ll try not to freak the crap out of first time expectant mothers everywhere. I promise I’ll tell you the good stuff too.