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Ericka Andersen

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Starting Out: The Newlywed Life

June 12, 2014 by Ericka

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Life as a newlywed….when you are just starting out married life, it’s hard to know what exactly to expect. What really changes with this person you were already spending the majority of your time with? Does “sealing the deal” on paper and in ceremony change the chemistry of your relationship or something? Obviously not — but some things are different once you are signed, sealed and delivered for life to your partner. Like most people, I took my vows very seriously. This is it — marrying my best friend forever. We had a perfect wedding (regular readers know how I raved!) and honeymoon at Sandals in Jamaica on the beach. And then we headed back home and went back to “normal” life. I’m a big reader so I had already read plenty of books and was stocked up with more.  We are both book people so it’s natural for us to tackle or pre-tackle any issues with them.

Getting There

Having dated for 2.5 years, we had dealt with some of our differences in big ways already but the reality of those differences remaining really sets in once you tie the knot. But that’s not a bad thing — in fact, it’s what helped us both relax and realize we can’t and shouldn’t try to change the other person. You let go of any control you thought you had truly begin to embrace the whole of your spouse. There were still a few rough weeks in our first year — really hard moments — but the commitment of marriage means you power through them. You learn to forgive, live more graciously, selflessly and humbly. My actions of putting another person were really put into practice and I’m sure Rick would say the same. The reality is — it feels good to do that for your partner.

The People In My Life

I am so thankful for the support I received from my Grandma, who has always been so supportive of each of us individually and as couple. She called me the day before I left for my wedding (because we were out of country and wouldn’t have phone access) so excited about what we were about to do. It meant the world to me to have her checking in throughout all of our relationship and still today. She continues to always think of Rick whenever we talk and really considers him to be another grandson — which is very special to me since he doesn’t have his own parents or grandparents around. me *My sister, my Grandma and me.  Additionally, being so far away from family and not seeing them often during our relationship, I was thankful to have the support of my best friend, Michelle, who was always there to listen to me and support me through everything. I can still trust her to this day to give me her honest opinion and help me through whatever issue might come up. Luckily, we work together so she is right down the hall for even the little things 🙂

Moving Ahead

We are one year in — yes, on the naive side of it — but I’ve prepared myself, knowing that difficult times will come, but also know that our love and commitment will bring us through anything if we hold on. For the most part, I’m supremely happy and truly love spending most of my minutes with my best friend.

 

Like a good neighbor State Farm is there. 

Statefarm

 

 

Disclosure: Compensation was provided by State Farm via Mode Media.  The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of State Farm

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Welcome! I'm Ericka: Writer, podcaster, wife, mother, runner and Enneagram 4! I write about faith + politics + addiction + church planting. I wrote a book once too -- see below!

Leaving Cloud 9: The True Story of a Life Resurrected From the Ashes of Poverty, Trauma & Mental Illness

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