|My friend Katie and I at a wedding in the Dominican Republic. I’ll be the same size at my wedding as I was at that one!|
I’ve considered it. I mean, I’d love to look amazing for those photos. I’d love to fit into a smaller size and rock my bikini without being slightly self-conscious (I mean, is that even possible?)
But, I’m not going to lose weight for the big day. The truth is, I’m okay with the way I am right now. This is the way I’ve been since I met my fiance and it’s likely the way I’ll stay (hopefully) for most of my life.
|Real girl = me last month. So it shall remain.|
I know my body could me more lean. I know my muscle tone could burst through more clearly with a change of diet. I could have less love handles, more six pack. I could have more firm, less flab. I could wear a smaller size and appear more statuesque in a photo.
But it’s not worth it to me. A diet for the sake of the big day would get into my head. My crazy head that battled eating issues for years. The numbers, the restriction, the obsession. I don’t fear a “relapse” but why even pretend?
So…I’ll just be playing myself on May 15th. I know I don’t “need” to lose, I get that. But this was something I considered, something that’s been on my mind as I bought a new bathing suit, as I try on dresses, as I envy the amazingly toned bodies of Crossfit athletes I admire. But I am ME. I work hard, I eat well, and this is the natural state of my body. If I work hard in Crossfit and my body changes some (which it has a bit), then more power to me! But I’m not doing it for that reason.
Best of all, I know it wouldn’t make any difference to the man I am marrying. If I gained 50 pounds in two months, he’d still be there at the end of the aisle. And being with someone like that has done more for my “body issues” than anything else ever could.
By the way, don’t forget to stop judging the number on the scale, ladies. I leave you with this (via Carlene Steenekamp):